I had a weird dream concerning a graduation/funeral/despedida I had. It was about me dying and saying goodbye to everyone. But I really am getting ahead of myself and I should start from the beginning.
Last week was one of the most grueling I’ve had. It was the week where 4 of the jobs I was juggling came together. I was doing publicity for three of my clients, assisting in 2 photo shoots, producing TV segments, and coordinating an event.
The photo shoots were not so stressful, the stressful parts were getting the clothes. Imagine borrowing clothes from a huge department store chain for nearly 20 people, without knowing their clothes size. All you had was a basic idea of what the clothes are supposed to look like.
I am not that much of a shopper, and moving around inside that big department store chain for 4 hours non-stop each day (no time for lunch breaks) was really tiring for me. On the first day, I was overwhelmed with my task that the first hour we were in the store, I felt dizzy, hungry, and faint. I had to take a break to eat or I would really collapse. We were in the mall from 10am to 2pm and at their office from 2pm to 6pm. After that we had to present everything!!!
The second day of “shopping”, I figured we had an early deadline to meet so I forgot to have lunch. The only time I realized I was starving was when my knees buckled while I was walking.
When we finished all the “shopping”, I had to attend to a client to arrange for interment services. I closed the deal that night and got the information from them already. Right in the middle of the photo shoot the next day, I had to escape to make a lot of phone calls and arrangements and dealings with everyone because I had only one whole day left after the shoot before the big day.
Friday, my body felt the toll of the week’s efforts. I could barely stay awake and had to take a few naps during the day. It was not like I wanted to take the naps, but my body was giving up and my eyes were closing by themselves. If I did not take those naps, I would have fallen asleep mid-step.
I was able to pull off the interment arrangement without a hitch. That was the end of a grueling week and I was able to get some much needed rest. I basically slept the whole day of yesterday.
I went out last night to check on the progress of the editing for the TV show I’m producing only to find out that there were a billion problems that the production managers (who are better called production manglers) left without informing me. I was super stressed out after a few hours of relaxation with friends.
Anyway, I had a dream last night. It was a very powerful dream, the type that you remember the moment you wake up and stays with you for a long time.
I dreamt that I was a spy. On one mission, a bomb exploded and managed to kill off all my siblings. Nearing the end of that mission, I was caught and was left for dead. The strange way I was left to die was I was tied somewhere high or on an elevating platform to bleed to death. In my head, I told myself that I didn’t want to die that way and the scene was converted to a music video.
The song was entitled “Alay Lamang Sa Iyo” (oh how I wish I could remember the lyrics and the melody, it would have made a hit! It had the feel of KANLUNGAN which goes “pana-panahon ang pagkakataon, maibabalik ba ang kahapon? lumilipas ang panahon, kabiyak ng ating gunita, ang mga puno't halaman, bakit kailangan lumisan?” but with the classic lyrics that would match “hindi kita malilimutan”. Anyway, I digress). As I had that thought, I was transformed into a clean, whole (yeah, I was pretty much mangled when I was tortured in my dream) person dressed in all white and I had a gazillion balloons. As I was floating down, I was picking up balloons one by one and singing the song. When I reached the ground, it was strewn with flowers, which lead to a dais where the tomb of my siblings were. I was crying towards the end of the song because I realized I was singing it for my mother. I was dedicating my whole life to her and sort of apologizing for all the loss she encountered because of the path I took which caused her so much pain. When I finished the song, my dream ended, as a video would. And I woke up.
Even as I typed the dream, I felt like crying.
I don’t know if it was because of the interment that I did why I dreamt the dreams I dreamt. I find it harder to connect the death sequences and why they had to be there.
Anyhoo… I’ve learned my lesson (I hope) and not accepting more projects than I will be able to handle at a comfortable level. I should not let myself get too stressed.
