it's official... i'm a dolt. i made my hunny cry :(

hunny and i went out last night... had a great time until later that night.

my ex was there and hunny went to say hi to him. I chose to stay behind and not even talk to my ex. later on, hunny told me that my ex wanted to talk to me. I told her that last night was not the best night to talk to my ex and that if my ex wanted to talk to me, he should approach me, not course it through others. tsk tsk... still spineless.

anyway, at one point, i felt really sleepy already... we were about to go home when tisoy came in. tisoy is sort of hunny's protegee. he was the baby of my hunny when he came out, meaning, they're very good friends. something happened between tisoy and i a night before hunny and i became official.

i felt so guilty about it... the guilt just came flooding in when hunny and i were in the car already. i apologized to her and i told her that my life is really a mess right now, and that she might not want to get involved. if, at that time, she chose to leave me, i would understand.

hunny and i discussed it on the way home. she was crying. she thought that i had feelings for tisoy and that i would want to leave her already. to be honest, i like tisoy, but i didn't see tisoy and i being in a relationship. all i wanted to do was have a talk with tisoy and apologize. he was at the right place at the wrong time during one of the most confusing times of my life.

i love my hunny so much. i cannot bear the thought of losing her or hurting her. i just wish that some things in life can be erased.

we were able to settle things before i was able to bring her to her house. i'm happy that we did... i just don't want to hurt her, never ever. i love her so much.