ooh... blog works now.

spoke with this girl. she knows i'm bi. we've been playing around with the idea of being together, but not really. she likes it, so do i. last night, she said yes to the proposal :) anyway, i woke up depressed, but a phone call from her changed everything. she made me laugh, she made me see things in a different perspective. she's an all-around wonderful woman. love you HONEY!

i've become happier. maybe i'm being manic-depressive again, but, i'm on the upside of things, so it's all good.

there's this chatter on IRC who keeps maligning other people... myself, included. I did what i would normally do... ignore him... but he kept right on... so, i played along with it while making him look bad... so, he sorta stopped picking on me and picked on other people, too.

my ex got outed as a real good bottom by this guy who slept with both of us... well this guy tried to sleep with me but i stopped him at some point. anyway, my ex was defending me online... not that i needed defending... and he thanked me for the heads up, identifying who the guy who outed him was.

i'm still not talking to him because he still has to make the first move. as usual, the heads up was the first move and it came from me.

oh well... life is fun. i'll live it that way. to people who have been backstabbing me, have fun, i know the truth and i'm with the truth.

today's mood... depressed.

prior to depression, allow me to update....

the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of fun and self-discovery. i have discovered that i'm a wonderful person. i have affirmations from everyone, it's just that i never bothered listening to them because i was listening to one person who i thought cared about me.

anyway, end of May, i attended a party. i think i was "crush of the night".... i found that out later in the week.

that night, i hooked up with a fil-aussie, who i thought was a fil-brit... not much difference though... he would've been the perfect guy, except for his ex/current-lover hang-ups. he's smart, witty, adorable, charming... oh, yeah, he's cute, too. wen't to this bar with him and we kissed. IN PUBLIC. i guess i was a bit too inebriated.

a few days later, i hooked up with this really wonderful jap/chinese-looking guy. we enjoy each other's company, too.

a few nights ago, i hooked up wiht my crush. yes, he's fruity, but he's really cute. who cares, right? it's a fling. i'm not into committing, yet, anyway.

so... life was perfect. i was having fun, i was getting into the scene. i was... for lack of a better word... pretty.

then, today, i was on IRC, and there was this guy spreading stuff about everyone, including me... the harsh things was, he was telling the truth, except when it came to my account. i was sort of affected. i mean, this guy knows me and other people enough to reveal certain information... weird... but i didn't let it affect me.

later, i found out that someone's accussing me of blackmailing someone. OMFG! i would never stoop that low. i'm accused of blackmailing a married guy. this guy who i have not talked to or whose life i have not been updated with. i'm still getting pieces of the story down, but basically, it's this married guy's pawn who's insinuating i'm a blackmailer and it reached the guy my ex is/was infatuated with.

what's sad is, my ex vowed he would prove to me that he could still be my friend. this information landed on my lap through my best-friend/kuya. a relayed message from my ex. wow. what a friend my ex turned out to be.

anyway... i'm beginning to hate the world again.