Friday, June 20, 2003

ooh! i posted some real names!!!

mood: apathetic, a bit miffed, frustrated with some people

ok. i woke up with a call from my bestfriend. he was forwarding a text from my Ex warning me about people spreading malicious rumors. i have decided to take legal action. yes, i will file a case. i'm just settling everything. i have people to back me up.

i confronted my ex online. i'm frustrated. read on if you're interested... it's pretty long

ME: look, if you have something to tell me, tell me straight. don't course it through other people. you have to make the first move this time.

MY-EX: well basically...people are warning me about you that you have not so good plans against me or whoever....and that with the situation with you and mabs...which i don't mind at all...but they do....i'm just saying be cautious lang of what other people might do...just trying to watch your back...i'm still hesitant to talk to you...that's why i don't go to you directly

ME: i need the information as to who these things are coming from. kevin is one source. i am filing a court case against them. i am counting on you to prove your friendship to me this time.

MY-EX: do you really have to resort to this? there must be some other way

ME: no other way. i figured as much. you're always trying to be a diplomat. you have failed this test this time

MY-EX: i can’t act entirely to your request if i have no clear conscience doing it...i just think this is too much

ME: you can, you just don't want to. i'm sorry, but you have failed to earn my trust again this time. i know you

*a few minutes later*

ME: you're still living in your dreamworld, i see.

*a few more minutes later*

ME: look, i know i've been harsh. i still am. it's just that i want this to stop and this is the only way. i don't understand why you insist on being friends with people who will harm you in the end. You, of all people should know that i never lie. i don't like lies. you have hurt me more now than you have in the past and i'm concerned that you will be hurting yourself in the future, too.

MY-EX : I just don't want conflict anymore....I've been so wearied these past few months...so many things happening all at the same time

ME: conflict is happening because you're taking a back seat. can't you see that? these things are happening because no one has been doing anything. i've been keeping silent the past few months, but see where it's led

ME: be honest. do you think i am lying?

MY-EX: I didn't think you were lying....besides, you don't know the details to the issues yet to deny or affirm anything

ME: then give me details

MY-EX: the only thing that got to me...you wanted revenge against me...that's what someone told me. the others...maybe just fluff. is that true?

ME: revenge for what?

MY-EX: i don't know...for hurting you?

ME: is there anything you have done to me that merits a vengeful action?

MY-EX: nope

ME: i'm not like that. i may be unforgiving but i am not vengeful.

MY-EX: the truth is....i didn't believe it. in fact i told these people...it's impossible

ME: let me know who these people are. at least tell them to tell me to my face if they have anything against me. this is so stupid. they're all backbiting me

MY-EX: i don't wanna add fuel to the fire....i'll defend you if i have to...but i won't take unnecessary actions

ME: i can fight my own battles. i want you to tell me who those people are. it's the only way this will end. the time for being quiet has passed. it's time to be confrontational now. that's the least you could do

MY-EX: what's the point...this will not end by fighting....those who live by the sword shall die by the sword. usually, lies die down...don't take them seriously anymore

ME: there you go again with your biblical comments. don't preach to me. it's not personal anymore. it's harming my business and i have to take legal action. these people do not stop when you keep quiet. these are the type of people who will kick a man when he's down

ME: i'm giving you a chance

ME: don't throw it away

*conversation ended*

yes, i was a prick in the end, but it was the test that i wanted him to pass. i still love my ex, the way one would love people in their pasts. i wish he would just take a stand instead of being apathetic to the point that the pain other people cause has made him numb already.

Thursday, June 19, 2003

update time

mood: happy, slightly inebriated, slightly pissed

what's been happening? well, to start off, i just got home, and it's about 12 hours since my last post. the sun was shining already when i got home.

I was on my way to Malate for a date with my Hunny. She (yes, a woman), knows about my past, she knows about everything, and she's cool with us having a relationship. We had a great time. We were dancing and kissing in the bar that she co-owns. She introduced me to a lot of her gay friends, some raised eyebrows, but they didn't really care.

I found out tonight that the evil person has been spreading malicious rumors about me. Yes. The cousin of psycho. It is now confirmed that psycho and his socialite cousin have been the ones spreading malicious rumors. I am seriously considering filing a slander case. My hunny is so affected that she ended up not having the best night there was.

While i was with my hunny in the bar, Mr. Fil-Aussie walks in. I didn't really notice him until he was at the bar already, and I didn't really notice him go up. When i was at the bar with my hunny, he was talking to some people. I waved a hello, but he didn't seem to have noticed me, so I assumed that he didn't want to see me that night.

I got an SMS from him saying "i want you to delete my number henceforth". I showed my hunny and she kind of freaked out. MY hunny and i replied with another SMS, first asking why, then explaining that she knows everything. Mr. Fil-Aussie replies with a "i demand that you say hi to me when you see me in public". I replied "i did, but you just ignored me"

Anyway, as my hunny and i were leaving, i bumped into him, and said hi. He was irritated (i think a little jealous) that i was with my Hunny the whole night. He left with this young guy whom my Hunny's friend was supposed to take home. There was a bit of panick there because everyone was worried about the young guy. I had no choice but to call Fil-Brit and ask about the young guy. Man! Mr. Fil-Brit was dripping with ice when i called him.

I figured fil-brit and i wouldn't be getting anywhere, anyway. He had his issues, he was pushing me away, now he sort of wants me. Weird. C'est la vie!

My Hunny and I ate in Makati with her friends. We really had a fun time. They were real people, no pretentions, take-me-as-i-am kinda people. My kind of people.

Anyway, I'm home. Have to nurse this cough to health. Til next time.

my mom called me on the phone earlier... we sorta use my phone as an intercom because i'm in the highest level of our house. The phone's the best way to talk to me. She started the conversation with "are you doing anything?" then, she followed up with "come down, i need to talk to you about something."

The second sentence always gets to me... somehow, i always think that she wants to ask me about my life... my alternative lifestyle, that is.

Who knows? maybe one day, i'll tell her.

****change topic****

having my room at the top-most area of my house is kinda cool... bad thing is, whenever someone cooks, the smells always go up to my room... my room ends up smelling like food... not always a good thing.

oh well

it's already thursday... i've been feeling under the weather since monday. this is bad. it's almost like i'm hibernating.

i'm non-productive today. i've slept the whole day away.

anyway, i'm planning to work REALLY HARD now. yeah, right.

nothing exciting today. last night, i went to Big Sky Mind. bumped into a few kids i met back in 2000. it's been THAT LONG. i am so old. anyway, i met this cool photographer girl who's just starting out... perfect timing because i'll be needing a photographer real soon.

mr. fil-aussie sent an SMS last night, asking where i was. i told him i was in qc. he was in malate. i asked him what was up. he didn't text back... we're playing each other :P

life goes on. more people to meet tomorrow and tonight.

Monday, June 16, 2003

long day today.... slept 4am, woke up 8 am.... yes... the consequences of procrastination...

anyway, nothing major so far... haven't heard from people yet. my ex is kinda feeling chummy already after the heads up i gave. i'd do that to anyone, even to people i don't know.

i'm in the PDI office... waiting for the lifestyle editor... the things and the wait that a poor young PR guy like has to go through... oh well... got to see how things get laid out and how things work in a publication.

while waiting, a fire broke out. a BIG one. i couldn't respond to it because i'm desperate to meet the editor. yes, i'm still waiting... good thing i know some people here so i can at least use the computer. i'm bored out of my head.

i hope she comes soon.... i wanna catch up with the volleyball group. will be updating my other blog truthtold in a little while. i wonder what i'll be putting....

Sunday, June 15, 2003

well, well, well... seems the guy who's spreading malicious rumors has been doing it for the longest time... he doesn't get what he wants and he spreads rumors. what a loser. his cousin is also involved in the scam... my ex and this young guy are both affected by it. i warned them. they didn't listen. like i always say, the truth comes out in the end.

now, i may sound self-righteous, but it's these moments that make me realize how much of a dreamworld people live in. they hate it when you point out that they're living a lie... in the end, you end up being right, and not an apology is heard. tsk tsk... people...

oh well... as for the rumor-mongerer and his cousin... they'll get what's coming to them.

i've been procrastinating like hell... i've slept this afternoon... i took time to cook for my dad... HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD! if you only knew! hehehehe

i've been comforted by the fact that people believe me and not others. i've proven myself a credible.

chatted with a young guy... accent and all... from china... very... uhm... liberated... oh well. we'll see what happens