it's official... i'm a dolt. i made my hunny cry :(

hunny and i went out last night... had a great time until later that night.

my ex was there and hunny went to say hi to him. I chose to stay behind and not even talk to my ex. later on, hunny told me that my ex wanted to talk to me. I told her that last night was not the best night to talk to my ex and that if my ex wanted to talk to me, he should approach me, not course it through others. tsk tsk... still spineless.

anyway, at one point, i felt really sleepy already... we were about to go home when tisoy came in. tisoy is sort of hunny's protegee. he was the baby of my hunny when he came out, meaning, they're very good friends. something happened between tisoy and i a night before hunny and i became official.

i felt so guilty about it... the guilt just came flooding in when hunny and i were in the car already. i apologized to her and i told her that my life is really a mess right now, and that she might not want to get involved. if, at that time, she chose to leave me, i would understand.

hunny and i discussed it on the way home. she was crying. she thought that i had feelings for tisoy and that i would want to leave her already. to be honest, i like tisoy, but i didn't see tisoy and i being in a relationship. all i wanted to do was have a talk with tisoy and apologize. he was at the right place at the wrong time during one of the most confusing times of my life.

i love my hunny so much. i cannot bear the thought of losing her or hurting her. i just wish that some things in life can be erased.

we were able to settle things before i was able to bring her to her house. i'm happy that we did... i just don't want to hurt her, never ever. i love her so much.

the thing with procrastination is that you learn to cram... and i tend to be very good at cramming. i get away with procrastinating and cramming.

i have mastered the art of procrastination. i have been doing it since my gradeschool days. it doesn't help that i have people who can produce things for me at the last minute.

the only thing i can do is pray to God and ask for the gift of preparation, foresight, and patience....

other things i've been praying for:

people who spread rumors about me, that God gives them clarity in life that they stop maligning others... my parents, that they may find a windfall of money to pay off their loan... my Hunny, that she may be happy with me.

things i've stopped praying for (for the mean time):

world peace, the re-emergence of the glory of the Philippines, me being sent abroad for a better life.

i took a test today....

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Moderate
Dependent:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

ok... i panicked yesterday... i couldn't access this blog to edit it... i kept getting a wrong password and username message...

anyway... i forgot to include some things in my blog last wednesday about this event i attended. the concept was a rip-off of TheMatrix:Reloaded and the hosts were TERRIBLE!!!! It was a poorly planned event. Here are some excerpts of their booboos:

"i'm sure everyone would like to hear the good NOOSE"

"let's all hear from the horse's mouth"

"our next ispeaker..."

"oo nga, we have steef competition"

"we now turn the floor to"

anyway, on to other matters....

yesterday, i met up with friend-bur. she set-up a meeting with a potential client for an event: the grand opening of a japanese restaurant. the owners were nice, but their friend was an asshole. he didn't have direct investment in the event, he was just the contractor for the construction. he had the gall to ask for an instant event concept and compare us to wedding planners!!!

i looked him in the eye and, as politely as i could, told him that wedding concepts are very easy because they follow a pattern. a launch/grand opening would have a different category all together. he gave us 30 minutes to work on costs and a concept. when we got back, he left for makati. what an ass!

next, i rushed to a meeting with another client. i was told it was an emergency meeting and that it was important. i got there, i wasn't really necessary, they just wanted me to be there to listen in to their rantings about the event.

the thing about this event, it was supposed to have happened in August, when there wouldn't be so many events to compete with. They barely gave me a month to plan out the PR, and they gave me limited information on the project. I'm left recycling one article over and over and over again. And they were complaining about the articles not coming out in the country's leading daily. Not for the lack of follow-ups. The article just got lost somewhere along the way.

anyway, enough about that... i went to this dentist to have my jacket-crown re-attached. i got a sermon from her. yes, a long sermon... so, a 10-minute procedure double in effect.

had dinner with Hun at her friend's place. had so much fun. bad point of the evening, i got a hyperacidity attack. good point of the evening, we had fun. i listened to all the kwento, absorbed everything, learned a lot! then, our other friend who the rumor-mongerer has been attacking, too, came over to tell us what happened when rumor-mongerer called him.

hyperacidity attack drained me me so much that i fell asleep at some point... went home happy... now i have to cram work.

hasta manana!

hmmm.... i was posting something and it got lost in the process.... let me repost.

i've been busy reading harry potter book 5. harry potter fans who don't have the book yet, get it!

anyway...

yesterday, i attended a meeting with some ladies. lo and behold, my ex's mom was there. i said hi and we took our seats already. she approached me a few minutes later saying it was wonderful to see me again and that people at their house miss me already. she went as far as asking if my ex and i had a fight.

i couldn't break her heart and tell her that we had a major fight. i ended up telling her part of the truth that my ex has friends who are saying slanderous things behind my back and that my ex wouldn't name these people. i told her that i'm not comfortable being with my ex because of that.

it's nice to know that you're being missed... it just goes to show that you made a difference in their lives.

later that day, my girlfriend and i were talking on the phone... the usual stuff... we laugh, we talk about serious things, we laugh again. we got to the topic about this guy who's been spreading malicious rumors about me. her friend told her that this guy was eavesdropping when my girlfriend and i were at the second floor of Breton in Malate.

my girlfriend was worried that i might feel bad about this information, but she told me anyway. it got the opposite reaction. I didn't feel bad, i actually felt sorry for the guy... such a loser to eavesdrop to try and find some facts to twist around again. anyway, Hun and I have a plan already. let them talk

makes me think twice about the court case, though... do i really want to waste time and money filing that court case against a loser? maybe i will. when my schedule eases up a bit.

updates, updates... hehehehe

attended a meeting yesterday. my ex's mom was there. she said it was nice to see me and that they miss me at their house. she proceeded to ask me if my ex and i had a fight. I didn't have the heart to tell her that we had a major fight. i just said that there are people saying slanderous things behind my back and even if my ex knows them, my ex chooses not to name them. i told her that if that was going to be the case, i would rather not hang out with my ex and his so-called friends.

it was touching to know that their family misses me. i kinda felt a tug at my heartstrings when she talked to me.

anyway, last night, i was talking to my girlfriend. i found out that the person spreading lies about me was eavesdropping when we talked in Breton a few weeks ago. HOW LOW!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! She thought that I would be affected negatively by what I heard, but it made me think... why should i waste my effort and file a case on someone who is desperate enough to eavesdrop on a private conversation just to drum up some stupid story about us?

the court case is still a possibility. i'm just waiting for the next volley of attacks, then, i will talk to them. if they deny it and keep on doing what they're doing, i will file a court case.

i've been sleeping too much... damn antibiotics. hehehehe

i forgot to mention... i have become the official non-official accountant of our family business. math sucks :P

my life is a telenovela. yes, you heard it right. i am living a telenovela life... my mother lived her telenovela life, and i'm here to make the telenovela longer, albeit with my own issues. Maybe one day i'll write it all down and sell it to the networks.

anyway...

i went out with my girlfriend last night. i introduced her to my friends, whom i got to know through my ex. my girlfriend knows my ex. She likes his company. When she mentioned that to my friends, one of them says something like "well, he's kind of lost now". This statement shocked my girlfriend. it didn't come from me... i guess it gave my girlfriend a better view of my ex.

My girlfriend is a very wonderful person. She trusts people implicitly. That is why i don't want to ever hurt her. I personally vowed to forget all about my boys as long as we're in this relationship together. She does now know this vow, nor will i let her know it.... I just want to be honest to her the way she's honest with me. I love her to bits, but she knows the rumor-mongerer. Now, if she will get hurt if and when i take legal action, i will have to ask her to let me go because i don't want to drag her into this. Somebody kill me if i hurt her.

anyway, as i blog, i'm talking to a girl who used to have a crush on my ex. she's asking how things are... i gave her the gist of it and the conversation transpired as follows:

HER: whoa...grabeh na pala

ME: wala lang... it's a simple choice between people he can trust and people he can't. he chose people he can't trust

HER: cmon...bakit ba nagkaganito na? u and your ex used to be really close. things are happening too fast

ME: i have no say in the matter anymore. he was supposed to prove that he could still be a friend. he can't.

HER: i think u guys are having a misunderstanding

ME: he doesn't understand me, he never tried. that's why i refuse to understand him anymore

*end of conversation*

oh well... so much for the blog for the day... i'm on antibiotics so i'm feeling a little weak.... stupid cough