i decided to get a new e-mail address just for this blog before it go to sleep. it's:


ironyseventysix@yahoo.com



;P

it's so funny when you remember things from long ago. for one thing, i just remembered that i have already been in the middle of intrigues since gradeschool. very harry potter.

my hunny was so tired.. she was awake for more than 24 hours to help a friend out and to keep her commitments. i love her so much. i'm so proud of her.

anyway, i thought my telenovela life was on a season break since everything was so quiet. apparently it wasn't. while i've been mum about everything i found out that someone has been posting about me on ringo forums. from those, i found out a few things:
1. "my blog is infamous for narrating things based on emotion and not fact"
2. "i spread it around that my ex never loved me etc. etc."
3. "my ex and i had were irreconcilable to the cores of our beings"

big revelations huh? guess what? they all came from......... (drumroll....)...... my ex! three cheers for those who guessed right.

i don't see why when i'm being quiet that all these underhanded sneaky ways of maligning me are popping up. and my ex is the source of it all. well, for my own satisfaction and to those who are curious, here are a few points to consider based on those new things:

1. i had my ex read through that post and asked for his comments. he agreed that it was all true. enough said. i don't know which blog it was, but i gather it's www.truthtold.blogspot.com maybe it's this blog. either ways, i don't lie and people who know me know that.

2. yes, i tell people that he never truly loved me. first point: he told me a few months in the relationship that he got into the relationship not because he loved me but because the relationship was there, he "learned to love me" later during the relationship. second point, he "fell out of love." i am not one to believe in falling out of love. it's either you love someone or not. breaking up doesn't mean you don't love the person, it's because you do not bring out the best in the other person anymore or the other person doesn't bring out the best in you anymore. it doesn't mean you fall out of love, you love the person enough to let them go. our hearts have an infinite capacity to love. when we let go of a relationship, that person occupies a space in our heart, but our heart makes room for the next person we love. each person we have/had a relationship with occupies a special niche in our hearts and that niche will never disappear. ergo: no falling out of love.

3. my ex and i were not irreconcilable. the reason this may seem like this is his refusal to adapt to change back then. had he tried to help people the way i did, he would understand how it is to help and why i like to help people.

point three brings me to a question: why does he always blame me for anything negative in his life? like the way i bitch about things. he was bitching way before i started bitching. i got a lot of the bitching from him, too. i wonder why i never thought of things like this before? my bestfriend would probably attribute it to me being too much in love that i failed to see the negative traits of my ex. now that i think clearly about it, the relationship was purely selfish, wasn't it? oh, well, to each his own opinion.

i pity my ex. he has changed to become a worse person. he's hanging out with people he said he doesn't like hanging out with, he's abusing substances (as far as i heard, no official confirmation though because i don't bother asking anyway), he's fighting with and dropping REAL FRIENDS like hot potatoes, he is proclaiming to the world that he sleeps around, he can't/won't face harsh reality, he's bothered about not being able to talk to me and something about his "current relationship" is not right.

anyway, i posted a in one of the ringo forums asking the following questions:
do you believe in falling out of love? do you believe that a relationship only works when both people want to make it work? is keeping something from the other person equivalent to dishonesty?

i also posted this point to ponder: don't you think that by falling out of love, it just means that you never really loved the person in the first place? that the love you thought you had was not real? i think that once you love, you never un-love. you may lose the relationship, but still love the person. in my opinion, no matter what happens to your relationship, your heart still holds love for that person and that love will never go away, although your heart has made room for the new person you love....

got a few very mature answers (copied verbatim):

from Mitzi:
i totally agree with you =)

there is no such thing as falling out of love...

on dishonesty issues... why would you want to keep something from the other person? don't u wanna share all u have? and besides, it may seem that ur misleading the person.. that really depends on what you wanna keep..syempre there would be times that you just might forget to tell something, but u don't really intend to keep it to urself.. u try to be open as much as possible.. =)

from Alexei:
i think keeping something from the other person IS dishonesty. it can also be decieving in a way, if both parties like each other and one just leads the other on. relationships always work if a couple try to make it work. sometimes things need to be straightened out. one can always fall out of love but i guess, not completely. theres always a bit of something left.

from Michelle:
keeping things, especially if it can affect your relationship (in a bad way), is somehow like dishonesty. that's why you keep it to yourself coz you feel it's gonna cause trouble for both of you... it's also similar to deception, you think you know the person, but you really don't...tsk..tsk...

from Feng:
i think it is possible to fall out of love.. but being in a relationship means your committed to the other person and that though at times you may feel like youv fallen out of love, you cant just give up.. you have to at least try to fix things kasi nga ur in a commitment... as for honesty issues... if your not honest, there can be no trust, and without trust, the relationship has no real foundation... but this is just my opinion...

anyway, changing topic...

i saw DARNA the ballet tonight. it was a wonderful production. i just wish they had more budget.

to people who read my blog, i'm considering opening an e-mail address for this blog... i'll post my blog e-mail soon as i set it up. wish me luck, the sun's about to shine and i'm still working ;)