i'm here in a mall right now... soo bored... don't want to go home yet...

a few days ago, a friend made me remember why i wanted a relationship... but with that realization, it also became apparent why i don't want to be in one right now. i carry wounds from my previous relationships... wounds that have healed but have been opened again... these wounds will heal with time, which is what i have and what i'm enjoying right now. i still feel that should i get into a relationship now, I will be left alone.

i don't think is an unexplained fear. i've always feared being left alone. i don't like the feeling of having no one to turn to... and i'm glad my friends have shown me that despite their busy lives, they'll still be there for me

i have so many thoughts in my head, i don't know where to start...

i am experiencing so many new things now... and i'm enjoying each and everyone of them... i'm wishing i have more money to pursue these interests... but there is a right time and place for everything... i know what's meant to happen will happen soon....

===context switch====

i read my friend edil's blog http://icarus926.blogspot.com/ today... i read something about facing your fear and the supernatural...

i wish i felt the way he did about the supernatural... it's just that supernatural things freak me out when i sense them... a strange shadow that's not supposed to be there, a presence that cannot be explained... movement in a room where there are no open windows or wind...

i have grown up accustomed to feeling these things...but i never fail to get freaked out when i'm in an unfamiliar place and i get these senstations.

for now, I do my best to ignore these feelings and things but i can't help but say... "i see dead people..."