have you ever...

have you ever felt so overloaded that you wanted to just quit working?

have you ever felt so frustrated with people that you just wanted to totally eliminate them in any way possible?

have you ever regretted anything in the past and still live with that regret?

have you ever been hurt so much that, although it's been a long time already, you're still hurting in some way or another?

i guess i've been going through a lot of stress these days... considering everything i'm doing, without an assistant... it's quite challenging. i get home, and once i reach my bed, i flop down and sleep. last night, i fell asleep at 10, had a fitful sleep until 2 am (kept waking up for one reason or another) and slept soundly until 7 am.

I dreamt I was back in highschool. That I had excellent grades but I was not going to graduate because of my frequent absences due to illness. I was arguing my case to the different school authorities, and I was gaining ground when the phone rings and it's my dad calling for my brother.

I don't understand why they have to wake me up to wake my brother up. They keep thinking I'm awake 24 hours a day. I don't understand why they don't just call him on his cellphone... then again, he ignores every call there is in life.

Last night, my parents celebrated their 31st year anniversary. I was still disappointed with my dad. He doesn't know how long they've been married, he doesn't know his kids' birthdays... he even confuses my name and my brother's. He did not spend for the celebration, my mom sneaked money into my pocket to pay for it.

My brother was a no-show last night. He was supposed to be in Makati, working. It was a Sunday evening. I don't think his sales job requires him to work on a Sunday evening. He's probably carousing with the Koreans. It's his business... I hope he knows his limits and learns when to let go of these people.

I'm might drop TV production all together because I have no editor, despite what they promised me. Whatever.