a vacation in neverland

tuesday was for work... i procrastinated too much, so much so, that i crammed everything on tuesday. because of that, I ditched a meeting, skipped the gym, and did my rounds. that day was full of laughter, spent laughing with friends on the phone, and it was concluded with a movie, about the life of J.M. Barrie's life; how he was inspired to create the story of Peter Pan. It did not dwell much on how he became such a person and how he took over his brother's life so that his mom would come out of her depression over how David, the other son, died.

the next day would prove to be quite a horror.

i was jolted out of my sleep at 530 in the morning and was faced with the following things:
1. my mom and dad frantic and panicked
2. my mom in tears
3. the news that my aunt, my uncle, and cousins were trapped in a burning building and possibly dead already.

news like that comes as a shock to everyone, especially to one who just jumped out of bead in a panic. it felt unreal and it felt like a bad dream. i was light headed, nauseous, dizzy, and all the life just drained out of my body. i didn't know what to do and I didn't know what to think. I guess it's really different when it hits close to home.

i tried to go through the motions of things being normal, but everyone noticed how this affected me. I was not close to their family, but my aunt has helped my family a lot, she was one of the first few people who recognized my mom's contribution to the family. she also had a son who i shared a secret with. the fire took away the cousin who i was possibly closest to from that side of the family.

i went to the fire scene to see what i could do to help. i stayed there for quite a long time, running around, talking to people, helping others... seeing what else i could do... but there was only so much I could do.

I have my complaints about how the Manila Government firefighters handled the situation. They wanted all the glory to themselves, when they could have just let pride and corruption go. If they did, I believe that someone else could have been saved.

They did not let the volunteers go in to help. They did not let the Makati rescue people go in when the Makati rescue people had breathing apparatus. They, reportedly, forced the vault open to get to what was inside Too much pride and corruption when lives are at stake.

The Manila government firefighters also left the area without recovering all the bodies. Well, they were planning to, until the volunteer fire brigade interfered and they were embarassed to leave.

Within 10 minutes of going in, the volunteers found the body of my aunt... something the government firefighters were trying to do since the time they went in. I guess the government people were also busy looking for other things, too. If they let the volunteers in earlier, they would have found everyone earlier. But they had to claim the glory for themselves, didn't they?

I am angry. I am frustrated. But there's nothing I can do. I have lost people who are part of my family.

Anyway, the following paragraphs in the entry might be weird, but i've decided to put it here, too.

I consulted a friend who is also psychic. He did mention that some people placed a curse on my family... and that's why there's all this death in the family. It started out with the granparent of a cousin, then the husband of an aunt... now... well, now, it's hitting closer to home for everyone.

The prediction is that another death will be coming and, hopefully, that would end the curse... somehow, i knew that was the case and somehow, i feel it would be a very bad car accident. I will pray that this won't happen and that the curse will just lift through prayer.